Another Baptism

Tonight was a really nice baptism. Sometimes I want to ask the person what exactly made them make this decision. Because they have such issues (tonight the woman used to smoke but hasn't for a week) and suddenly they don't? I don't understand. Perhaps if I blindly jumped in I may see what they see.  Except that I'd feel like such a hypocrite. I already feel like one because I don't believe. It's not that I don't get it. I understand that people are searching for something and the missionaries catch them on that one day where they're more open than others. I do understand that. And people get caught up in the excitement and the attention so they jump in with both feet. Then the newness wears off and suddenly they're left on their own to figure out the next step. It's sad. For this one day, though, their eyes are shining and full of hope.  I will never be one to take that away. 
**********************
I have always been drawn to the Middle Eastern religions. Not so much Islam because the Koran is similar. They have prophets and I just can't do that. I'm talking about Hindu, Buddhism, and one other that escapes my mind. I investigated Buddhism before. But he didn't like it. Said it wasn't really a religion. And that's part of the appeal. It doesn't have a church house (it can and does here but I don't have to go) and it's based on something I believe. I want to mingle it with a type of Wicca because that also has a base I believe in. I've been feeling the pull to go my own way, to make my sanctuary. When I can do that, I can associate with his church with no guilt. And I will no longer care about his expectations.  I'll keep you posted. :-)