Skipped the day

I skipped the churchy day.  And he performed. Normally I try to be there when he sings. Today, though, I decided not to go. I get tired of their fakeness. That's what it feels like: their pretend smiles and their pretend good will. Not all of them. Just some of them. And they find me. When he left today he said he'd tell me how it went. He swears he's not trying to make me feel guilty but his tone definitely says something different. Not today. For a minute, I thought about going. Then decided not to. It was a split second of remorse and then it was gone. I don't want to feel pressured so I don't. I have enough pressure from me, my internal time line. I don't want/need more from something I don't believe in.

It's funny. C and I were talking about religion on Friday. We talked about the Bible and god and really covered a huge range. She said she looks to the Bible as a history book. She said that's what helps her believe it's a good book.  I told her I thought it was more fiction. It does have some wonderful stories: violence, happy endings, sad endings, etc. She said I could be wrong. And I know I'm in a minority (if there are any others who think that) but I believe the book is subjective since it is written by human hands. Just like the Book of Mormon. It was written by the human hand. Yes, god told Joseph to translate it but he still used words that weren't there. If he couldn't find the translation or didn't receive it, he placed a similar word.  Subjective. All history/writing is. If man is involved, then so are emotions and it's wrong. The truth is always somewhere in the middle.

And that's all I'm going to say about that.